Too many people in the world are living their lives in a state of self-hate, rather than self-love. This is a worldwide problem and one that if solved would transform the world in ways many of us can only imagine. In this blog, you’ll discover if you are in a state of self-hate and how shifting to a perpetual state of self love will enhance you health, relationships, career and allow you to live to your greatest potential.
What Is Self-Hate?
Self-hate is the most destructive emotion, and as a result, behaviour(s), people can do to themselves. It’s one of the most common reasons why people experience low energy, anxiety, depression, carry excess body fat, have poor health and play small in their personal and professional lives.
Self hate often begins in childhood. According to Harvard studies, when a child is exposed to extreme stress, or traumatic event(s), they’re more likely to experience adverse physical and mental health issues into adulthood. Without adequate support and techniques to cope with these experiences, children often suppress the painful emotions, which effect the person well into adulthood.
When negative emotions are suppressed they can weak havoc on the mind and body without a person being fully conscious of what is happening. Suppressed emotion(s) usually show up in the form of self-hate.
Do You Hate Yourself?
When I was about six years old my father was diagnosed with schizophrenia, he was only 25 years old. Unfortunately, I only have memories of my dad as a sick and often violent person. Because of his illness he required a lot of attention, from my mom and grandparents, which took a lot of attention of my sister and I.
Each Sunday we would go to church. I can still remember sitting there with my little notebook and pen writing over and over again, “no one loves me. Why doesn’t anyone love me?” I really could not comprehend why all the attention was on my father and not on me. I felt invisible, unloved and alone because of it.
I understood that my dad was sick and he needed the help of my mom and grandparents. So, I took it upon myself to always be there for my little sister. Just because I felt scared and alone didn’t mean she had to feel the same way. And I knew my mom was going through a lot and was sad and upset a lot of the time having to deal with a sick and violent partner that I knew I had to be strong for her too.
There were times when my father was in his violent fits that he would pick up kitchen chairs and anything else within reach and through them through the windows of our house. When this was happening my mom would command us to run and hide. One of our hiding spots was behind the big stereo speakers we had in the living room. As we hid, I would console my sister and tell her that everything was going to be ok. She didn’t need to cry. I felt I needed to help ease her pain. In that moment, I didn’t have anyone telling me it was going to be ok so I told myself it would be ok and suppressed the pain and fear I was feeling.
As I got older, I craved the attention of men to try find love and fill the void I felt in my heart, I dabbled in drugs and used food as my main drug of choice to numb my pain. I struggled with disordered eating and the cycle of overeating and exercising more.
I hated myself and had no self love, self esteem or self respect. However, I hid it quite well. I would never show to an outsider how much pain I was feeling on the inside. I didn’t like feeling that kind of vulnerability and I didn’t want people to know I was sad or scared.
As a result of this suppressed pain, when I got older I experienced anxiety, low energy, difficulty losing weight and I had little self-respect, self-esteem or self confidence.
You might not even realize that you have hateful emotions towards yourself. I didn’t until I was in my 30’s and 40’s. That is why I want you to take a look at some of the ways self-hate may be showing up in your life.
Acts of self-hate include:
- Overeating unhealthy foods such as sugar, fried and fast food.
- Hating yourself when you look in the mirror.
- Having negative thoughts about yourself or others.
- Excessive drinking, taking drugs or smoking.
- Punishing yourself with excessive exercise or lack of exercise.
- Unsafe, or excessive indulgence in sexual activity.
- Lack of self-respect or self-esteem.
- Showing cruelty or hate towards other people and animals.
- Contributing to the destruction of the planet.
The ego works hard to protect us from negative experiences and often buries things so deep that we don’t even know they’re there. If you’re like me, you might suspect something is going on but have no idea what it is that’s holding you back from achieving your best health, losing weight and stepping up to your greatest potential in life.
Do You Love Or Hate Yourself?
After many years of therapy and working with a variety of different business and spiritual coaches, I was finally able to figure out what what it was that was holding me back in my own life. I really had no idea that subconsciously I was still carrying around the feeling of being unloved as a child and as a result was fulfilling this belief with my own acts of self-hate. After, some self-discovery, dealing with and releasing negative emotions, I am better able to tune in and listen to what my mind and body needs. I maintain a healthy weight by eating a healthy whole-food plant-based diet. I choose to exercise in ways that keeps me feeling fit and strong rather than beat myself up with exercise that breaks my body down. I practice yoga regularity to stay connected to a higher consciousness and relax my mind and body. I have deeper connections and relationships with others and a new business that is growing every day. I continue to attract new clients who I love to help and watch transform into the people I know they can be. I now know that every action I make is either and act of love or hate towards myself and can now consciously make the best choice for my life.
However, until we allow ourselves to recognize the limiting beliefs that are holding us back we will not be able to act in ways that allow us to move forward and see the results we desire.
To start this process, I encourage you to first look at an area of your life where you are struggling. Ask yourself a series of questions about your current state to give you an idea of where you might need to start.
For example, if you are someone who is experiencing poor health or are struggling to lose weight, take look at your behaviours and ask yourself these questions:
- Do you overeat when you feel sad, angry or even happy?
- Do you choose to eat foods that you know aren’t good for you such as fast food, processed food and too much saturated fats?
- Do you workout excessively to try and lose weight?
- Or, do you not workout enough because you feel it’s a lost cause?
- Do you ever feel pain the body and know you have some sort of injury but push through it anyway rather than getting it looked at and cared for?
Every choice you make is either an act of self-love or self-hate. To recognize the intent behind your choices take a moment to decide if your choice will take you closer to or further away from your goal(s). If your choice has a negative consequence, such as harming your health and well-being, it’s an act of self-hate. If your choice will enhance your health, or take you closer to your goal(s), it’s an act of self-love.
What Will Happen When You Love Yourself?
When you begin a daily practice of self-love you will notice a huge transformation in your body, mind, soul and life as a whole.
When you have self-love you will likely:
- Eat better
- Gain better health
- Lose weight
- Be happier
- Be a better parent, spouse, friend
- Step in to your true purpose and find a career you love
- Have more compassion for humans and all other living things
- Be better able to help and serve others in positive ways
- Make a difference in the world
- And so much more!
What To Do Now
When you begin a daily practice of self-love you will notice a huge transformation in your body, mind, soul and life as a whole.
Enhance your self-love with these simple practices:
1) Spend time in meditation. Everyday take time to be still and silent and see what memories or thoughts come up. When they do, recognize them, feel the feelings, forgive yourself, and everyone involved, and let it go. Please download my self-love meditation for FREE to get you started with this daily practice.
2) Look in the mirror. Each day look at yourself with love, respect and admiration. Tell yourself that you love yourself and that you, your body, your mind and soul are amazing, complete and whole. This daily practice is a powerful and transformational technique.
3) Eat whole, plant-based food. Plant-based nutrition will nourish your body so you can shed excess weight, gain strength, have better health, more energy and clear thoughts. Eating this way will also allow you to no longer contribute to the destruction of the planet or animal cruelty and suffering. This destruction and cruelty is low vibrational negative energy that effects everyone on this planet directly or indirectly and contributing to it is certainly not a practice of love.
4) Make conscious and positive decisions. When you stay mindful you will make decisions that positively impact your life. Remember that each choice you make is an act of self-love or self-hate. Take your time and choose wisely. Your life, and the lives of others, depends on it.
5) Invest in yourself. Investing in yourself is the best money you will ever spend. I know it has been for me. If you want to build a thriving business, hire a business coach. If you want to gain better health, lose weight, have more energy and live a life to your greatest potential, hire a health and wellness coach. My 12-week health coaching program has helped many people transform and live a life rich in self-love. To learn more about how this program can help you, click here.
Whatever way you choose to step into your fullest potential and gain the best health and body you desire decide to do it today! Tomorrow never comes so what are you waiting for?
Until next time,
Wishing you a lifetime of healthy abundance.
Namaste.
Rachel Joy Olsen, BSc., MBA, Health & Wellness Coach
Click here to receive a FREE eBook & course to get you started on your journey to better health and wellness.